Let's talk about sex

You have probably heard the term heterosexual, homosexual, bi-sexual but what about asexual? According to the definition of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, unlike celibacy, which is a choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation.

By Eve IRVINE

At 22 years of age, Melanie is about to start her masters’ degree in English heritage studies. She knows where she's going in life and who she is, part of which is asexual.

"I thought maybe I was afraid of sex or that my libido wasn't working, I thought all these things...none of it made sense, I wasn't repulsed by sex I just wasn't interested in it. And then I heard the term asexual. People who don't enjoy sex because they are not attracted to anyone and I thought oh well it makes sense now," says Melanie.

Asexuals say that they are not sexually attracted to either men or women. However they can form long term meaningful relationships and Melanie now shares her bed with a fellow asexual.

A growing number of people are recognising themselves as asexual. In Reading, Mark remembers the years he spent trying to fit into society’s expectations. He had relationships with women, and then with men but neither felt right to him. "Other people want sex and I wasn't able to offer that so I thought, right, what else has life got to offer and I just gave up on the sex element," he remembers. "Early on I would have been curious to find out if there was something wrong with me but now I have adapted to my lifestyle and then I realised I wasn't the only one plus the feeling that it is something innate, like homosexuality its just something your born with," he continues.

Today, rather than feeling isolated by his asexuality Mark has become the media man for the asexual community in the UK. He is working on getting the term known and has taken part in the gay pride march saying that its time for A Pride to hit the streets.

While there are those who recognise themselves as asexual and are content with living without sex therapists do point out that the vast majority of people who want to have sex but have issues with it can find a solution.

After finding out about asexuality HEALTH stays on a sex theme but turns to a very different issue: intersex. That is, people born with both male and female characteristics. “They have a genital bud, you can't tell if it's a clitoris or a penis they have genital rolls of fat, you can' tell if it's labia majora or if it's a scrotum that hasn't fully developed anatomically from the outside you can't say if it's a boy or a girl,” notes Professor Michel Polak, an endocrinologist and paediatrician at Paris’ Necker Hospital.

Some parents can’t bear not knowing the sex of their newborn child and so many ask for an operation. However with difficulties in determining which sex will develop later in life problems often arise. Progress made in the genetics field means doctors can now determine more precisely the sex of babies and the number of early operations being carried out is on the decrease.

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(6) Reactions

ASEXUALITY

by Anonyme - 25/09/2010 - 01:01

Asexuality is another form of being disabled.It is therefore not something from which one can derive some pride.The normal thing is to accept that"hips do not lie".Normal women always feel the biological urge of looking for better genes to sustain the human race.

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quite interesting

by Anonyme - 13/09/2010 - 15:30

I was talking with a friend over this phenomenon a few months ago. He was telling me that he was not attracted to either sexes which I found surprising, for I haver heard of such a thing. he told me he was asexual possibly and i took it as a joke. He has always had trouble finding a partner but i didnt know for this exact reason. This is a very interesting concept. To find niether sex attractive is almost against the laws of nature. And I am not talking about it being as a stigma as religious types give upon homosexuals but more of a strange purpose. for I believe in our genes is the built in urge to procreate. but this is counter to that gene, Possibly to counter overpopulation or some other breeding problem, But would be interesting to study.

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Asexual from AVEN and who was

by Anonyme - 02/09/2010 - 00:58

Asexual from AVEN and who was in Pride - it's a good spot though I should stress that asexuality isn't caused by anything. No more than homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality or pansexuality. And people odn't choose to be asexual though they can choose toe be celibate. I mean, there are asexuals who don't enter into relationships with sexuals but they don't choose the asexuality itself.

Is a bit amusing and weird seing my face pop up in the photos though *G*

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Disinterest in sex

by Anonyme - 01/09/2010 - 20:29

Hi this is Melanie from the interview! I would like to say I am sad that Asexuals were described as 'people who are not interested in sex' although this is true for the most part the REASON we are disinterested in sex is because we don't find any gender sexually attractive, not because we have issues with sex, intimacy, libido, self esteem etc. It is a consequence of our orientation. If you refer to Asexuality as 'no interest in sex' then that suggests we can be cured. Sexual orientation CANNOT be cured.

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"no interest in sex"

by Anonyme - 01/09/2010 - 04:06

While some asexual people may be disinterested in sex, it is first and foremost a lack of sexual attraction to any gender/sex. Asexuality is an orientation.